The following play list examines Pablo Escobar’s meteoric rise from the poverty of Medellin to his reign as the leader of the largest drug cartel in the world. Escobar provided hope for those around him and a target for those abroad. A well noted philanthropist yet brutal drug lord, Escobar sought to change the world by any means necessary. While he was eventually gunned down by a special police unit in 1993, his life continues to reflect, for better or worse, what we call the “American Dream”.

The Message- Grandmaster Flash and the Furious Five

The Message tells the story of Grandmaster Flash’s life growing up in an American ghetto. Pablo Escobar, like Grandmaster Flash, grew up in a poverty stricken area and sought refuge within the neighborhood gangs. A petty thief in his younger years, by the time of his adolescence Escobar had already begun stealing tombstones from graveyards and selling them to Panamanian smugglers. While most see such an act as immoral and despicable, The Message helps provide a glimpse into the conditions which lead to people, such as Escobar, going to such great lengths to improve their lives. The lyrics and beat provide a somber feeling yet still seem to provide a sense of pride and hope in the "thugs, pimps, [and] pushers" that feed off of the ghetto.

You grow in the ghetto, living second rate

And your eyes will sing a song of deep hate

The places you play and where you stay

Looks like one great big alley way

You’ll admire all the number book takers

Thugs, pimps, pushers and the big money makers

Casey Jones- Grateful Dead

With the discovery of cocaine and the drug trafficking business in his early twenties, Escobar encountered the most important decision of his life. Although Escobar had managed a meager existence through petty crimes, he soon gravitated towards the successful drug lords he saw around him. As with the fictional character Casey Jones, Escobar began to let the drug take over his life. Even though he knew it may lead him to “trouble ahead”, he decided to take that risk as he assessed the similar “trouble behind”. Also, as with lyrics and mood of the song, Escobar jumped right in with little hesitation and great anticipation of the ride ahead.

Driving that train, high on cocaine

Casey Jones you'd better watch your speed

Trouble ahead, trouble behind

And you know that notion just crossed my mind

Grindin’- The Clipse


As with most small time drug dealers, Escobar began moving weight as a way to support himself and later his family. The lyric below discusses about a young drug dealer’s entry into the cocaine business. Much like the character in the song, Escobar was enticed by dreams of “hideaway(s) by the lake” and the other perks of the wealthy citizens of Colombia. The song's beat and meter produce a sense of "grindin" through the constant yet rhythmic pounding similar to that of a street hustler banging on the streets. Also, the song mentions taking out “whoever gets in the way”, something for which Escobar would become extremely infamous.

My grind's 'bout family, never been about fame

From days I wasn't "Abel/able", there was always "Cain/caine"

Four and a half will get you in the game

Anything less is just a goddamn shame

Guess the weight, my watch got blue chips in the face

with two tips whoever gets in the way

Not to mention the hideaway that rests by the lake

Consider my water meaning the icing on the cake

Pusherman- Curtis Mayfield


Escobar continued to push his way to the top. With increased power and respect, he began to view his business as a “solid life of crime” that dealt with “ghetto demands”. Fueled by fear and “[insecurity] from the past”, Escobar expanded his empire to an unbelievable size. Like Mayfield, Escobar used his charisma and drive to work his way up. The song provides a laid back sound, one that serves perfectly to correspond to Escobar's comfort at being on top and underlying hubris. As with any high, however, the question of “how long can a good thing last?” was always lurking.

solid life, of crime

a man of odd circumstance

a victim of ghetto demands

feed me money for [style]

and i'll let you trip for a while

insecure from the past

how long can a good thing last?

Black Republicans- Nas ft. Jay Z


As Escobar’s power and wealth grew, he began to use his influence in other arenas. Unable to “turn [his] back on the hood” or “clean up (his) act for good”, Escobar began pumping large amounts of his dirty money into the local communities. Though many knew of his illegal dealings, few objected to his philanthropic efforts, including the erection of numerous schools, hospitals, and soccer stadiums. Also, in an attempt to gain further power in Colombia, Escobar ran a political campaign and was elected to the national senate. As with this song, a person who many see as unwholesome envisions the change he would make if placed in a position of political power. The song is very dark and has a grim sound. It offers a sense of the brooding nature of those who rise from nothing to positions of power.

I feel like a black militant takin' over the government

Can't turn my back on the hood, too much love for them

Can't clean my act up for good, too much thug in 'em

Probably end up back in the hood, I'm like f**k it then

Pool Shark- Sublime


As Escobar’s power continued to increase, the wealth and drug trade became an addiction for him. Similar to a heroin addict who’s “got the needle”, Escobar began to let things spiral out of control. Even as one of Forbes ten richest men in the world, Escobar refused to let up his ruthless tactics for economic gain. Though this attitude is what led to him to prominence, it also would lead to him “[losing] the war”. While not as dark as many of the other songs, the lyrics and mood seem to blend together to display the frantic nature of an addict looking for one more high, even if that high may be his last.


Now I've got the needle,

And I can shake,

but I can't breath.

Take it away, I want more and more.

One day I'm gonna lose the war.

Hate Me Now


After years of ruthless tactics, even the citizens of Medellin wanted nothing to do with Pablo Escobar. Following a serious of bombings that were clearly orchestrated by Escobar, a search bloc was formed to find and arrest Escobar. Though the search bloc used advanced technology and had numerous leads, they were never quite able to catch up with Escobar. As with this song's lyrics, Escobar seems to know "there's no turning back now" yet seems to thrive off the sense of imminent danger. The beat is very powerful and seems to engulf the listener, only further adding to this sense of the chase. It provides a romanticized view of the criminal lifestyle and demonstrates the iconic status criminals such as Escobar often achieve.


It's been a long time, been a long time comin

Looks like the death of me now

But you know, there's no turning back now

This is what makes me - this is what I am

Somebody’s Gotta Die- Notorious B.I.G.


When the pressure from the government and the threat of extradition became too intense, Escobar surrendered to authorities. Escobar did so, however, under the condition that he could remain in a prison he built himself, cleverly named La Catedral. After numerous murders were reported on the property, the Search Bloc moved in. It was clear that, as with "Somebody’s Gotta Die", there was no peaceful way to resolve the situation. The song does not provide a sense of fear but more that of readiness for a conclusion. The darkness and bluntness of the song reflect the real life scenario that was about to play out for Escobar. Escobar “let the gunshots blow” when he was confronted by authorities and died from a shot to the head, ending a life punctuated by remarkable highs and lows.


Somebody's gotta die

If I got, you gotta go

Somebody's gotta die

Let the gunshots blow

Somebody's gotta die

Nobody gotta know

"Shes a fashion model who has everything; a boyfriend, a career, a loyal bestfriend. But when a sudden freeway "accident" leaves her disfigured and incapable of speech, she goes from being the beautiful center of attention to being an invisible monster, so hideous that no one will acknowledge she exists. Enter Brandy Alexander, Queen Supreme, one operation away from becoming a real woman, who will teach her that reinventing yourself means erasing your past and making up something better. And that salvation hides in the last places you'll ever want to look." Invisible Monsters, Chuck Palahniuk

I chose this novel because it offers a glimpse into the wonderful weird world of fashion, trans-gendered pill popping beauty queens and the legnths some will go to feel differently about themselves. If you havent read the book I have included a link to a breif description of the novel.

The events in this novel do not happen in chronological order, the author jumps back and forth through time with no rhyme or reason.
"Dont expect this to be the kind of story that goes; and then, and then, and then. What happens here will have more of that fashion magazine feel, a Vogue or a Glamour magazine chaos with page numbers on every second or fifth or third page. Perfume cards falling out, and full-page naked women coming out of nowhere to sell you make-up."
Palahniuk uses no real order to his novel; therefore I will no use no order in the sequencing of my playlist. I will however try to better explain the reason that I chose each song and the relevance it has to the story.

1. Supermodel, by Jill Sobule

I chose the song Supermodel because the main character, whose real name (Shannon McFarland) is not revealed until the end of the novel and her best friend, Evie Cottrell are both fashion models. Throughout the novel there are injections with photographers directions.


"Most of my adult life so far has been me standing on seamless paper for a raft of bucks per hour, wearing clothes and shoes, my hair done and some famous fashion photographer telling me how to feel.

Him yelling, Give me lust baby.

Flash.

Give me malice.

Flash.

Give me detached existentialist ennui.

Flash.

Give me rampant intellectualism as a coping mechanism."






Lyrics

2. Brandy Alexander, by Feist

Brandy Alexander, it is the name of one of the main characters. Brandy is the "Queen Supreme" and ring leader of the characters throughout the story.
"If you have to start with one detail, it has to be Brandy's hands. Beaded with rings to make them look even bigger, Brandy's hands are enormous. Beaded with rings, as if they could be more obvious, hands are the one part about Brandy Alexander the surgeons couldn't change. So Brandy doesn't even try and hide her hands."









Lyrics

3. Medication, by OURS

Brandy, Shannon and Manus Kelly visit multiple open houses of mansions for sale for the sole purpose of raiding the medicine cabinets and stealing all of the occupants pills. Shannon also feeds Manus estrogen pills (unknown to him), and Brandy takes a daily plethora of pills in her quest to become a real woman.








Lyrics


"We've taken medication, so we can run away from another day."

Each character in the story is running from something, Evie a boring existence, Shannon from the undeserved attention and accomplishments that were given to her beauty not herself, Shane or Brandy Alexander, from her past as a man.

4. For Today I am a Boy, by Antony and the Johnsons





A prevelant theme explored in this band's music is aspects of transgender life. This is expressed in "For Today I Am A Boy", in which a young boy dreams of growing up to be a woman. This is relevant to the story because both Brandy Alexander and Evie Cottrell began life as males, Evie had a complete sex change and Brandy only has one more operation before she is a real woman.





Lyrics


"One day I'll grow up and I'll be a beautiful woman. One day I'll grow up and I'll be a beautiful girl. But for today I am a child, for today i am a boy."


At the end of the novel Shannon gives her brother, Brandy Alexander, who started life as Shane McFarland her old life.


"Shane, I'm giving you my life, my driver's license, my old report cards, because you look more like me than I can ever remember looking. You make Sofonda get you a top contract, no local charity benefit runway shit. You're Shannon fucking McFarland now. You go right to the top."

5. You Are My Sister, by Antony and the Johnsons





You are my sister, we were born

So innocent, so full of need

There were times we were friends but times I was so cruel

Each night I'd ask for you to watch me as I sleep

I was so afraid of the night

You seemed to move through the places that I feared

You lived inside my world so softly

Protected only by the kindness of your nature

You are my sister

And I love you

May all of your dreams come true

We felt so differently then

So similar over the years

The way we laugh the way we experience pain

So many memories

But there's nothing left to gain from remembering

Faces and worlds that no one else will ever know

You are my sister

And I love you

May all of your dreams come true

I want this for you

They're gonna come true (gonna come true)


At the end of the novel Shannon hands her old life over to her brother, previously Shane McFarland, presently Brandy Alexander.


"I'm giving you my life to prove to myself I can, I really can love somebody. Even when I'm not getting paid, I can give love and happiness and charm. You see, I can handle the baby food and the not talking and being homeless and invisible, but I have to know that I can love somebody. Completely and totally, permanently and without hope of reward, just as an act of will, I will love somebody. I lean in, as if I could kiss my brothers face."

6. Slob, by Weezer





Leave me alone.

I won't pick up the phone.

And I won't listen to messages

Sent by someone who calls up and says.

"I don't like how your living my life."

Get yourself a wife.

Get yourself a job.

Your living in a dream.

Don't you be a slob.

Leave me again.

Don't hang out in my den.

Waiting for little clues to appear

That I drank some of granddaddy's beer

I don't like how your living my life

Get yourself a wife

Get yourself a job

Your living in a dream

Don't you be a slob

Slob, slob

Waiting for little clues to appear

That I drank some of granddaddy's beer

I don't like how your living my life

Get yourself a wife

Get yourself a job

Your living a dream

Don't you be a slob

Slob, slob


The last night Shane McFarland lived in his parents house, the last night they ever saw him, was the night they found out he was gay.


"Drugs," my mom said, "we could deal with."

"Teenage pregnancy," my mom said, "we could deal with."

"Doctor Peterson," she said. "He said there's just about only one way you could get the disease the way you have it, but I told him, no, not our child, not you, Shane."

"Tonight," my father said. "We want you our of here." Our father.

"We don't know what kind of filthy diseases you're bringing into this house, mister, but you can just find another place to sleep tonight."


A few months later the McFarlands received a call from an unidentified person telling them that Shane McFarland was dead. What they assumed was that he died of AIDS. But really, Shane McFarland was dead, and Brandy Alexander was born.

7. Time to Dance, by Panic! At the Disco





This song was actually inspired by the novel, there are direct references and quotes taken right out of the book.

"Give me envy, give me malice, give me attention." This refers to the photographer directions that are randomly placed throughout the novel.

"Boys will be boys hiding in estrogen and wearing Aubergine dreams." This refers to Brandy Alexander who wears aubergine dream lip color and takes estrogen pills, as well as Manus because he unknowingly takes them as well.

"Pulling the trigger" refers to Shannon shooting herself in the face with the shot gun and Evie shooting Brandy at her wedding with the same shotgun.






Lyrics

8. I Write Sins Not Tragedies, by Panic! At the Disco

I chose this video because as I said earlier this band used Invisible Monsters as inspiration for multiple songs. This video could be an interpretation of Evie's wedding where she shoots Brandy and Shannon burns the house down.

The novel opens with Evie's wedding reception. "Where you're supposed to be is some big West Hills wedding reception in a big manor house with flower arrangements and stuffed mushrooms all over the house. This is called scene setting: where everybody is, who's alive, who's dead. This is Evie Cottrell's big wedding reception moment. Evie is standing halfway down the big staircase in the manor house foyer, naked inside what's left of her wedding dress, still holding her rifle. Me, I'm standing at the bottom of the stairs but only in a physical way. My mind is, i don't know where. Nobody's all-the-way dead yet, but let's just say the clock is ticking."

"Charles Frazier's first novel, Cold Mountain, is a thrilling adventure and tragic love story. The National Book Award-winning novel tells the story of two people trying to find each other in the midst of the Civil War. Inman, wounded in the battle of Petersburg, sneaks out of a Confederate hospital and begins a long trek home across the war-torn South to Cold Mountain and Ada, the woman he loves. He encounters kind people who feed him and lend him a bed, as well as a few ill-willed personalities. He is constantly hunted by the Home Guard and nearly loses his life at least three times."

"Cold Mountain'' takes its title from a forested tower, Inman's destination, where the novel reaches its heartbreaking climax. It speaks to the reader with candor and honesty, without flamboyance, or literary tricks, pulling us ever deeper into the thoughts of Ada and Inman as they move irresistibly and fearfully toward one another.

Frazier has set out a story of love between two people, each wounded, who hardly know each other, but who desperately need not to be alone. Until the very end of the book, they are far apart."

"Hotel California" - The Eagles

"At the first gesture of morning, flied began stirring. Inman's eyes and the long wound at his neck drew them...So he came to yet one more day in the hospital ward. The window was tall as a door, and he had imagined many times that it would open onto some other place and let him walk through and be there. The window apparently wanted only to take his thoughts back. Which was fine for him, for he had seen the metal face of the age and had been so stunned by it that when he thought into the future, all he could vision was a world from which everything he counted important has been banished or had willingly fled."

"Hotel California" is a very fitting song for the opening of the book and the introduction to Inman. We first see him as being stuck to the hospital bed wanting nothing more than to be somewhere else. He sits and reads his book that takes him away to a better place and stares out the window wishing to be back home. The calming sounds of this song send the mind wondering and just put the body in a relaxing state. It's very easy to get taken away in the soothing beat of the song where the singer is talking about going away to the "Hotel California" which is "such a lovely place, such a lovely face." Both the singer, and Inman, are trying to escape reality and go back to a better place where there is a lovely face waiting for them.

"Chop Suey" - System of a Down

"He calculated that his days of traveling had put little distance between himself and the hospital. His condition had required him to walk more slowly and to rest more often than he would have like, and he had been able to cover only a few miles at a time, and even that slow pace had been at considerable cost...And the weather had been bad, hard rain off and on through the period, sudden downpours with thunder and lightning, both day and night...Each farm had two or three vicious hounds set to go off at the merest sound, rushing barkless and low out of the dark shadows of roadside trees to rip at his legs with jaws like scythes...The dogs and the threat of the Home Guard out prowling at the gloom of the cloudy nights made for nervous wayfaring."

"Chop Suey!" really describes most of Inman's journeys because he had gone from the lazy days of just sitting around in the hospital bed recovering, reading, and thinking, to having to overcome one challenge after another just to stay on his trek home. When he singer shouts "WAKE UP!!" at the beginning of most of the phrases of the song, this is what is going through Inman's mind as he is trying to keep battling and keep going strong. This upbeat and hectic tempo makes me think of a time when Inman is beating off the attacking dogs or having to duck into the closest bush hoping that the Home Guard doesn't happen to find him.

"Bodies" Drowing Pool

"Inman jerked the scythe form the smith's hands and used it as it was intended, making long sweeping strokes close to the ground. He went at their feet with it, mowing at them and making them drop back before they were cut off at the ankles...his strokes were hard, hoping as he was to strike a bone. In the end though is was adequate, for he eventually smote the three down to their knees in the dirt of the street...then he kept at it until they all lay prone and quiet, faces down. Ha gave up and beat the man about the head with it and flung it onto the top of the building and walked away."

"Bodies" Lyrics

Let the bodies hit the floor
Let the bodies hit the floor
Let the bodies hit the floor
Let the bodies hit the floor Beaten why for
Can't take much more

One - Nothing wrong with me
Two - Nothing wrong with me
Three - Nothing wrong with me
Four - Nothing wrong with me
One - Something's got to give
Two - Something's got to give
Three - Something's got to give

Now
Let the bodies hit the floor
Push me again
This is the end
Skin against skin blood and bone
You're all by yourself but you're not alone
You wanted in now you're here
Driven by hate consumed by fear
Let the bodies hit the floor

This song would fit Inman very well because, like the scene above, there were many times when Inman found himself needing to battle someone or something just to survive. He had come from the war where all he saw around him was dying and bloodshed, and when he was attacked in the village he didn't hesitate to attack the men who were after him. He even tried to let some of them walk away with only injuries that would have temporarily stopped them, but he was "pushed again" and finished them off. The feeling of this metal, rage song would feel like the thoughts that rage through Inman's head in times of fighting.

"Hey There Delilah" - Plain White T's

"And then he thought of Ada and Christmas four years ago, for there had been champagne then too...It seemed like another life, another world. He remembers the softness of her, and yet the hard angularity of her bones underneath. She had leaned back and rested her head on his shoulders, and her hair smelled of lavender and of herself...He said, I've been coming for you on a hard road. I'm never letting you go. Never."

"Hey There Delilah" Lyrics

Hey there Delilah
I've got so much left to say
If every simple song I wrote to you
Would take your breath away
I'd write it all
Even more in love with me you'd fall
We'd have it all

Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me

A thousand miles seems pretty far
But they've got planes and trains and cars
I'd walk to you if I had no other way
Our friends would all make fun of us
and we'll just laugh along because we know
That none of them have felt this way
Delilah I can promise you
That by the time we get through
The world will never ever be the same
And you're to blame

This song is very fitting for Inman because there were several times on Inman's journey when he felt like all hope was running out, but there were little things that reminded him that all of his time will be well spent when Ada is in his arms again. "A thousand miles seems pretty far...I'd walk to you if I had no other way," these are very telling lyrics to describe how Inman feels about going home to Ada. He has times when he is just stuck in a daydream thinking about being with her again and knows deep-down that things will work out if he can just get home.

"Numb" - Linkin Park

"For several days Inman walked tied at the wrists to the end of a long rope with fifteen other men so that they went strung together like tailed coats. When the line started or stopped he was yanked forward and his bound hands flew up before his face like a man in sudden need of prayer...Like the vast bulk of people, the captives would pass from the earth without hardly making any mark more lasting than plowing a furrow...They walked therefore bent, as if bearing the burden of lives lived beyond recollection. Inman hated being sutured up to the others, hated going unarmed, hated most moving retrograde to his desires. When the sun rose full in his face he spit at it, having no other way to striking out."

"Numb" Lyrics

This part in Inman's journey is where all his trials seem to be worth nothing. He is tied together with all the other prisoners and is degraded to walking with them, being treated like scum, and loosing valuable miles. "I've become so numb I can't feel you there, I'm becoming this all I want to do, is be more like me and be less like you," is a good way to describe how Inman feels about being dragged down. The feeling of the song is also one that seems to show the singer feeling down and broken, which is how Inman feels during this long journey.

"Pardon Me" - Incubus

"Inman set the pistol down on his bedding, for he had taken upon himself to vow a bear, never again to shoot one, though he had killed and eaten many in his youth. The decision came as a result of a series of dreams he had over the period of a week in the muddy trenches of Petersburg...In that manner of life, (living as the bear did), he thought there might be a lesson in how to wage peace and heal the wounds of war into white scars...He awoke the last morning feeling bear was an animal of particular import to him, one he might observe, and learn from, and that it would be on the order of a sin for him to kill one no matter what the expense, for there was something about the bear that spoke to him of hope...Inman took a step to the side and the bear rushed by him and plunged over the high ledge that she never saw in the gloom...Shit, he thought. Even my best intentions come to naught, and hope itself is but an obstacle. The cub in the fir bawled out in its anguish."

This would describe a turning point that was noted by Inman after his run-in with a bear. He had made a vow to himself about something that he needed to place importance on. He decided that he was going to respect the bears and maybe that they were a sign of hope. After this encounter where his vow was broken to save himself, he really starts to reanalyze his situation and realizes that "even his best intentions come to naught." I think that the line, "Cause lately I've been thinking of combustication as a welcomed vacation from the burdens of the planet earth, like gravity, hypocrisy, and the perils of being in 3-D, and thinking so much differently" would exemplify how Inman is feeling at this time. The song has a theme of being lost and wanting to give up because everything has changed, and this is a point in Inman's life where he has been stuck during his whole journey.

"My Paper Heart" - All American Rejects

"When the trail turned upward, snow started falling again. The tracks began fading off like twilights the slow filled them. He walked fast, climbing to a ridge, and when the tracks started to disappear he broke into a run...No matter how fast he ran, the footprints disappeared before him until they were faint, like scars from old wounds. Then like watermarks through paper held to window light. Then the snow lay even all around, unmarked...Finally he stopped in a place where the hemlocks stood black around him and made a world undifferentiated, with no compass degree preferable to another and with not a sound but snow falling on snow, and he reckoned if he lay down it would cover him and when it melted it would wash the tears from his eyes and, in time, the eyes from his head and the skin from his skull."

"My Paper Heart" Lyrics

So bottle up old love,
And throw it out to sea,
Watch it away as you cry
A year has passed
The seasons go

Please just don't play with me
My paper heart will bleed
This wait for destiny won't do
Be with me please I beseech you
Simple things, that make you run away
Catch you if I can

Waiting, day to day it goes through
My lips, are sealed for her
My tongue is,
Tied to, a dream of being with you
To settle for less, is not what I prefer

So bottle up old love,
And throw it out to sea,
Watch it away as you cry
A year has passed
The seasons go

Please just don't play with me
My paper heart will bleed
This wait for destiny won't do
Be with me please I beseech you
Simple things, that make you run away
Catch you if I can

This defines the hopeless feeling that Inman is starting to have towards ever reaching his goal of being with Ada again. He has come so far, and gotten so close, yet can't ever seem to reach his goal. As he is trying his hardest to finally reach her, all hope seems to be lost, so he finally decides to give up. The lyrics to this song show how his emotions played with him as he ventured closer and closer, yet if things didn't work out then he would be crushed and feel like he had strained over an unachievable goal.

"It Feels Like Home" - Chantal Kreviazuk

"He looked at her in the eyes and knew it was here and was overcome by love like a ringing in his soul...Firearms standing between me and everything I want...Tears started in her eyes, but she blinked once and they were gone...Inman thought her about as handsome a sight as men are allowed to see, and he was momentarily taken aback by it...He held her tight and words spilled out of him without prior composition. He told her about the first time he had looked on the back of her neck as she sat in the church pew. Of the feeling that had never let go of him since...Ada and Inman lay under covers for some time entwined and talking, the fire low and the door to their hut open, letting a brilliant trapezoid of cold moonlight project onto their bed. "

"Feels Like Home" Lyrics

Somethin' in your eyes, makes me wanna lose myself
Makes me wanna lose myself, in your arms
There's somethin' in your voice, makes my heart beat fast
Hope this feeling lasts, the rest of my life

If you knew how lonely my life has been
And how long I've been so alone
And if you knew how I wanted someone to come along
And change my life the way you've done

It feels like home to me, it feels like home to me
It feels like I'm all the way back where I come from
It feels like home to me, it feels like home to me
It feels like I'm all the way back where I belong

When Inman is finally back in the arms of the one and only woman that he truly ever loved he is finally happy. It had been four long years since he had been able to say that there was nothing on his plate other than what was in front of him. I feel like this song truly encompasses his feelings that he has when he is with Ada. He is happy and finally "home where he belongs." I think that the lyrics are very vital to Inman's inner feelings and thoughts. The mood and tone of the song also seems very fitting to what would be a happy ending to this love story.

"I Will Remember You" - Sarah McLachlan

"A pair of lovers. The man reclined with his head in the woman's lap. She, looking down into his eyes, smoothing back the hair from his brow. He, reaching an arm awkwardly around to hold her at the soft part of her hip. Both touching each other with great intimacy. A scene of such quiet and peace that the observer on the ridge could avouch to it later in such a way as might lead those of glad temperaments to imagine some conceivable history where long decades of happy union stretched before the two on the ground."

"I Will Remember You" Lyrics

I'm so tired but I can't sleep
Standin' on the edge of something much too deep
It's funny how we feel so much but we cannot say a word
We are screaming inside, but we can't be heard

But I will remember you
Will you remember me?
Don't let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories

I'm so afraid to love you, but more afraid to loose
Clinging to a past that doesn't let me choose
Once there was a darkness, deep and endless night
You gave me everything you had, oh you gave me light

This song shows how Inman felt at the close of the book. As he is dying, he has finally reached what he wanted and was truly able to be happy one last time. I think that in some ways he chooses to give up in Ada's arms because there was no reason to fight anymore, he had found his love. He dies while being in the arms of his one and only true love. At the end, he looks at her one last time and knows that he will remember her forever. She watches him slip away, and takes in her last glimpse and knows that the love like theirs will never die, the memories won't fade, and that they had truly "given each other everything they had, and gave each other light" on their darkest days.

I would like to begin by first introducing myself as Jay Gatsby. I do not come from old money but have created my own fortune although I would prefer not to discuss it. After being left by the woman I love at a rather young age due to my financial instability and my involvement in the war, I devoted my life to getting her back. I did everything I could to obtain wealth which meant nothing to me but everything to her. I was successful in obtaining a great deal of wealth but not nearly as lucky in trying to recapture her heart. Her name was Daisy and the following is a list of songs that I like to listen to in looking back on my journey and devotion to her.


"I Got You Babe" by Sonny and Cher
This first song reminds me of my short stay in Louisville, Kentucky where I first met Daisy in 1917 when I was a Lieutenant for the war. We were still young and so deeply in love.
"And when I'm sad, you're a clown
And if I get scared, you're always around
[HER:] So let them say your hair's too long
'Cause I don't care, with you I can't go wrong
[HIM:] Then put your little hand in mine
There ain't no hill or mountain we can't climb
[HIM:] Babe
[BOTH:] I got you babe I got you babe"

These particular lyrics from this song descibe perfectly our feelings for one another in our younger years.

I Got You Babe Lyrics

Unfortunately, the emotions that we experienced were not enough for Daisy to hold onto while I was away at war. She met another man named Tom and married him while I was still overseas.

"Un-break My Heart" by Toni Braxton
Of course I was absolutely devastated when I heard the news that the one woman that I loved was married to another man. I was crushed and had some difficulty dealing with my emotions. When I lost Daisy, I feel as though I lost part of my masculinity which may be the reason for such a feminine song in my playlist. I certainly had a soft spot for her and didn't want to be with anyone else but her. This song by Toni Braxton describes my feelings towards Daisy as I felt that I would give anything to have her back.

Un-break My Heart Lyrics

The lyrics that have the deepest effect on me and my life are the following:

Take back that sad word good-bye
Bring back the joy to my life
Don't leave me here with these tears
Come and kiss that pain away

She meant everything to me and since she had gone I no longer knew how to move forward with my life. She was meant to be the essential part of my life and without her nothing seemed to feel right.

"Thinking About You" by Radiohead
"Thinking about you" is a song that I can relate to in terms of lyrics as well as on an emotional level. It has a tone and rhythm that verify the singer's anguish over his love who has left him in the same way that I felt when I heard that Daisy had left me. When the singer's voice becomes scratchy his emotion comes through stronger than ever and brings back the pain within me when I first lost my love Daisy.



Thinking About You Lyrics

While the sad, painful emotion radiates from this song, the lyrics are quite special as well. These lyrics relate to me in that I constantly think of Daisy. I know that she is only with those people for their money and they are with her for hers as is written below. She does not think of me as I think of her but hopefully she will again one day soon.

I've been thinking about you, so how can you sleep
These people aren't your friends, they're paid to kiss your feet
But they don't know what I know, and why should you care
When I'm not there
Been thinking about you, and there's no rest


A scene from one of my many extravagant parties.


And some of the music you would have heard at my place on a Saturday evening.
1920's Dance Music

These parties were always at my place but I would rarely mingle with my guests. I had one thought in mind when hosting these parties and that was to attract Daisy. I figured that if she would ever come to a party of mine, I would somehow be able to get her back. One evening at a party similar to this one, Jordan and Nick who were Daisy's friend and cousin respectively, were in attendance. I knew that this was my opportunity so I arranged a meeting with Daisy through them.


"Back Together Again" by Donny Hathaway

Back Together Again Lyrics

After Daisy and I met again, our feelings for one another returned and I felt as though I was the happiest man in the world. This song is much more upbeat than most of the songs in my collection. I love that it stands out in this way because it becomes a fantastic reminder of the time when I was reunited with my love Daisy.

"Here Without You" by 3 Doors Down
The beginning of "Here Without You" as well as the chorus describe what I consider to be the next stage in my life. Everything had been going so well until Daisy's husband suspected her of being unfaithful. We were caught and she chose him over me so I was once again without my love. He allowed her to drive me home after confronting us on the issue. I returned to a saddened state in realizing that I would never have her back.

This song fit my mood at the time as I became depressed. The contrast in my feelings of falling back in love with Daisy and losing her again were as opposite as the upbeat tempo of "Back Together Again" and the slow, sad tone of "Here Without You." I particularly enjoy this acoustic version as opposed to the original version because it seems to be even more lonely (which was how I was feeling) with a single man's voice as he plays the guitar.


Here Without You Lyrics


"All For You" by Sister Hazel
On the way home from being confronted about our affair, Daisy struck and killed a woman with the car. She drove off without knowing that she was the woman that her husband was having an affair with. Because of my extreme love for her, I decided to take the blame for her murder. I knew I could never be with her again but had too much love for her in my heart to see her suffer. I would truely do anything for her and finally had my chance to prove it.


All For You Lyrics

"Piano Sonata No.2 In B Flat Minor Op.35 - Funeral March" by Frédéric Chopin
My devotion and noble act eventually cost me my life. The man whose wife was killed had a true love for his wife similar to the love that I had for Daisy. He believed that his wife had cheated on him with me and that I had killed her. He found me seeking revenge and murdered me. Nick put together a small funeral for me which nobody attended. My devotion to Daisy had caused me to lose any desire for previous relationships that I had with family and friends. I took part in some immoral actions throughout my life, but beneath them all was an undying love. The final funeral march represents my sad, lonely demise from a love that I would give my life for all over again if I could.